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[personal profile] blossomdreams
So a few things have been happening in these past few days.

1) I'm starting to realize that many of my thoughts haven't really been my own.
2) I'm finally not pushing down my sexuality anymore by admitting that I'm bi and attracted to women
3) I have a crush on a really amazing woman >////<

But now I'm all flailing about it because I don't know how to tell her that I had a crush on her too. I just pushed it in the back of my mind because I was still trying to follow some old idea of pleasing my family by marrying and having a baby (seriously I'm not all aboard that train like I used to be) I don't know how to tell her though!

It sucks that she doesn't live that close to me and my little class makes it where I can't see her yet even though I want to sooooooo bad!

We met through RP and we grew closer and it feels like I've known her for so long even though we've been talking for two months XD

I had a crush on her that I pushed aside because I thought she liked someone else, but it turns out she doesn't! She likes me! But I don't want her to think that I'm just returning her feelings out of being nice when I have a small crush on her that's growing so much through out the time we talk and ahh I don't know what to do!

><

I told myself that once I got away from my family I was going to get in touch with that side of myself and now it seems like it happened!

She's so great too. And she cosplays she knows how to sew and everything! I just have to tell her that everything is fine! I'm worried she's taking my normal quiet self as a sign that I'm not fine or acting weird when I'm only acting weird because my crush came back!

This is such a first for me I'm not sure what to do besides gather my nerves and tell her. I'm not sure when though I'm just really happy!

^_^

(I also find it a bit funny after I had dreams of being with women for 5 days straight when I realized I think my subconscious has to be telling me something. I've always pushed it down though since my family would freak out if I even mentioned that a woman looked pretty. Well I'm tired of pushing that side down for a group of people who's going to be disappointed in what I do anyway. I'm trying to take control of my happiness again. I want to be happy the way I was in one of my dreams with my girlfriend and a cat. ^^

I still can't believe I have a crush after so long!)
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