Fic: Letting Go
Jul. 12th, 2012 03:24 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
blossomdreamsTitle: Letting Go
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 1,973
Pairing: Bruce/Tony
Warnings: teeth rotting fluff, a bit of angst, and a mention of Bruce's attempted suicide
Disclaimer: I own nothing. The Avengers and their characters belong to Marvel and all the writers.
Summary: Tony helps Bruce after a battle drains him.
Notes: Another fill from the![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
avengerkink for this prompt here. Enjoy!
Bruce opened his eyes and looked at the pajamas he was sure Tony placed on him. It was another week of destroying Doombots, saving the world, and another appearance of the Other Guy. Another week of Bruce’s body distorting to fit something that’s not human then enduring the painful process to return to back to normal.
Something no one else in the team had to go through.
Bruce curled under the covers as he thought about the team after every battle. Steve took off his uniform while Tony took off his suit. Natasha and Clint reloaded their weapons while Thor put down Miljnor.
Bruce can’t take off a suit or put down a weapon. He can’t brush things off after a battle and walk away. Bruce’s bones have to set, his consciousness to return, and his rage to smolder into a harmless plume of smoke. Bruce can’t move until the pain subsided to a dull thrum under his skin. It was another reminder of the Other Guy’s presence.
Another thing no one else in the team had to deal with.
They didn’t have another person that shared their body or mind. Sure, he knew his teammates could argue and say they have another presence inside them. Bruce could easily explain it as the mind trying to find an outlet for their emotions as a result from their traumatic experiences over the years. However, no one turned into a physical personification of their emotions.
No one else had to stay calm every day, every hour, and every second so they didn’t become what they feared. Bruce couldn’t slip up. One slip up meant an entire block destroyed or the change of someone important to him hurt. He couldn’t get angry and it wasn’t fair.
There were times he could argue, but he couldn’t get into full blown shouting matches like Clint and Tony. He couldn’t break things like Thor whenever Loki came by to visit. He couldn’t make threats like Natasha or snide comments like Pepper. Bruce had to be a constant well of tranquility and it wasn’t fair.
Bruce took a breath to calm down, but his techniques didn’t work. Too many thoughts passed through his mind. The other guy, the team, the cage in SHEILD, everything he pushed aside returned. He took another deep breath when he felt something wet roll down his cheek.
Bruce wiped the tear away, but two more followed in it’s place. He continued to wipe his face, but it didn’t work. The tears he fought back for years started to break free. Bruce did something he hadn’t done since the night his mom died.
He buried his face against the pillow and cried.
*~*~*
“Hey Bruce we’re all going to…hey, hey what’s wrong?” Tony jogged over to Bruce’s balled up form on the bed.
“Too much…everything too much…” Bruce mumbled as he gripped the sheets.
Tony swallowed as he took a seat on the bed. He didn’t like the way that sounded. He hadn’t forgot Bruce’s previous attempt on his life and he didn’t want Bruce to try any of that any time soon. He quickly thought about three different ways to approach Bruce and tried one out.
“No it’s not, I mean I know Clint’s toppings on a pizza is too much. Who orders pineapple and olives honestly, but everything is fine. Hey, hey come here.” Tony soothed. He eased Bruce’s fingers off the sheets and pulled him close. Bruce gripped Tony’s shirt and cried into the expensive material.
Tony kissed his hair and wrapped an arm around his waist.
“JARVIS make sure no one comes into this room. I don’t care if SHEILD needs me they can wait. If there’s something going on in the company tell Pepper. She’ll handle it. The only reason someone should come into this room is if the world is ending. I mean volcanoes erupting, oceans overflowing, and computer systems failing around the world.”
“Yes sir.”
Tony smiled when the doors locked. He knew JARVIS wouldn’t let anyone in without his approval. He turned back to Bruce who tried to push him away. Tony pulled him closer and shook his head.
“You can’t get rid of me that easily, believe me many others have tried, I want to know what’s wrong? I remember Cap took you to your room and I gave you these comfortable pajamas. Then you fell asleep. I leave to see what the team wants on their pizzas and come back to see you crying your eyes out. What’s wrong? Is it the pajamas? I can always--”
“No it’s not the pajamas or the room or anything! It’s just this week, this month, this year I have to change into the Other Guy and it’s exhausting! No one else has to and it’s not fair.” Bruce whispered.
Tony squeezed his waist and pressed a kiss in his hair. “You and the jolly green giant have a chance to do things we can’t. I can’t lift a statue like it’s paper. Steve can’t catch someone in mid-air. Clint and Natasha can’t spar with a god. Thor can’t make a cure for an entire city or a small nation that’s not on the grid. None of us could handle what you do, but you do it with ease.”
Tony cupped Bruce’s cheek and tipped his head up. “You have more patience than I ever could muster even on a good day. Don’t sell yourself so short. I know I don’t.” He smiled and placed a light kiss on his lips.
“No one has to change into someone else at the end of the battle. No one has a cage created for them because they have a green rage monster inside them.” Bruce said as he wiped his eyes.
“No one has the ability to control that rage like you do.”
“What?”
“Natasha and Clint can’t afford to lose control. Neither can Cap or Thor. If they lose it they will either kill someone or end up hurting those around them. You and the Big Guy make sure that no one is hurt and can aim that rage at the right people. I’ve never seen you truly lose control where you don’t recognize me or anyone on the team. You’re able to control that rage in a way none of us could do, not even me.” Tony grinned and wiped a stray tear off Bruce’s cheek.
“You mean I can do something better than you? I’m surprised.”
“As you should be, it’s something that surprises me every time I think about it too.”
Bruce chuckled and trailed his fingers down Tony’s shirt. “You have no idea what you live with, but you encourage it. I don’t know what to call you.”
“Genius and loving boyfriends are the words you’re looking for, but I’ll forgive you.” Tony said with a smirk.
“Oh I’m so grateful.”
“Is that sarcasm I hear, Dr. Banner?”
“I believe it is.”
“Then I’m doing something right.”
Bruce gave a lazy grin and rested his head against Tony’s chest. “You know there is always that possibility that the Other Guy could lose control like that. I’ve done the math. The odds don’t point in your favor.”
Tony hummed and rubbed Bruce’s back. “Ahh, but I’ve been known to beat the odds. I hate to tell you doctor, but your equation has no definite answer. We’re going to have to do more work before we can arrive at a complete answer.”
“You want to test the Other Guy’s control for science.”
“Yes I do.”
Bruce chuckled, but it turned into laughter that he couldn’t stifle. He never met anyone who wanted to study the Hulk in a positive way. Then again, he never met anyone like Tony.
Bruce chuckled and looked up at Tony in amusement. “I believe I should study you.”
“I wouldn’t say no doctor, especially if you want to do a thorough study. It is for science, after all.” Tony said as he waggled his eyebrows.
“I’ll be sure to keep that in mind.”
Tony smiled and closed the gap between them with a soft kiss. Bruce closed his eyes and placed his hands on Tony’s chest to push him away when Tony tightened the hold around his waist and deepened the kiss. Bruce rested his hands against Tony’s chest and returned the kiss. He fell victim to the sensation of Tony’s tongue dancing with his own and the feel of his arms around his body.
It felt good to have someone that wasn’t afraid of him or only saw him as a weapon. To have someone that wanted him and the Other Guy for something more than his mind and power. Bruce didn’t know if he wanted to cry from that fact or leave before it would change. Well, he promised Tony he wouldn’t leave, he had to find another solution.
Tony pulled back and rubbed his thumb along Bruce’s bottom lip. Bruce offered a small smile and shifted in Tony’s arms.
“What did you mention when you came in here? Pizza?”
“Yeah. We’re ordering a pizza tonight, but we can change it if you want. They can get pizza and we can get whatever you want.”
“Don’t you want pizza?”
“I can always get pizza. What do you want?”
Bruce hummed and rested his head against Tony’s chest. It wasn’t often that he had a choice.
“Hmm, I’ll take a pizza too. I’m too tired to get anything else.”
“It’s not a problem if you want something I can go get it. Do you want Italian? Indian? Shawarma? I don’t think Cap or Lightening Bug would mind.”
“Pizza is fine.”
“I can always get--” Tony started when Bruce quieted him with his lips. He learned it was the most effective way in quieting Tony.
Bruce pulled back with a small smile. “Pizza is fine.”
“Great! We can choose the toppings. I know it’ll be reasonable than Clint’s, I mean who wants olives and pineapples with no pepperoni’s or extra cheese. It’s crazy.” Tony said. He smiled and squeezed Bruce again.
“You can add anything to a pizza. There’s no official rule for it.” Bruce rested his head back on Tony’s chest.
“There should be. JARVIS!”
“Yes sir.” JARVIS answered.
“Tell the team to give you their toppings and place the order to my favorite pizza place.”
“Very good sir.”
“One more thing JARVIS.” Tony looked down at Bruce. “Do you want to open your room again?”
“I don’t mind as long as we stay like this a while longer.” Bruce said. He didn’t feel like leaving Tony’s warm body so soon.
“We can stay like this as long as you want.” Tony smiled and pressed a light kiss to Bruce’s lips. “You can open his room again JARVIS. I’m sure the others will piece everything together soon.”
“Yes sir. Will there be anything else?”
“Nope, thank you.”
Tony grinned when JARVIS released the locks to Bruce’s room. He chuckled at the soft music that started to play and settled against the pillows. Bruce looked up when he recognized the lyrics of the song.
“Is that Chasing Cars by Snow Patrol?”
“JARIVS has quite the sense of humor. I do love it.”
“I see.” Bruce chuckled and placed his head back on Tony’s chest.
Tony smiled and started to rub Bruce’s back again. Bruce closed his eyes and nuzzled his chest with a pleased hum. He didn’t feel the Other Guy at the edge of his mind ready to push through. He didn’t know if it was the fatigue or the warmth of Tony’s body that calmed the Other Guy down. Bruce didn’t have the energy to try and figure out the answer.
Bruce closed his eyes and focused on the warmth of Tony’s chest.
He could find a solution another day.
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 1,973
Pairing: Bruce/Tony
Warnings: teeth rotting fluff, a bit of angst, and a mention of Bruce's attempted suicide
Disclaimer: I own nothing. The Avengers and their characters belong to Marvel and all the writers.
Summary: Tony helps Bruce after a battle drains him.
Notes: Another fill from the
avengerkink for this prompt here. Enjoy!Bruce opened his eyes and looked at the pajamas he was sure Tony placed on him. It was another week of destroying Doombots, saving the world, and another appearance of the Other Guy. Another week of Bruce’s body distorting to fit something that’s not human then enduring the painful process to return to back to normal.
Something no one else in the team had to go through.
Bruce curled under the covers as he thought about the team after every battle. Steve took off his uniform while Tony took off his suit. Natasha and Clint reloaded their weapons while Thor put down Miljnor.
Bruce can’t take off a suit or put down a weapon. He can’t brush things off after a battle and walk away. Bruce’s bones have to set, his consciousness to return, and his rage to smolder into a harmless plume of smoke. Bruce can’t move until the pain subsided to a dull thrum under his skin. It was another reminder of the Other Guy’s presence.
Another thing no one else in the team had to deal with.
They didn’t have another person that shared their body or mind. Sure, he knew his teammates could argue and say they have another presence inside them. Bruce could easily explain it as the mind trying to find an outlet for their emotions as a result from their traumatic experiences over the years. However, no one turned into a physical personification of their emotions.
No one else had to stay calm every day, every hour, and every second so they didn’t become what they feared. Bruce couldn’t slip up. One slip up meant an entire block destroyed or the change of someone important to him hurt. He couldn’t get angry and it wasn’t fair.
There were times he could argue, but he couldn’t get into full blown shouting matches like Clint and Tony. He couldn’t break things like Thor whenever Loki came by to visit. He couldn’t make threats like Natasha or snide comments like Pepper. Bruce had to be a constant well of tranquility and it wasn’t fair.
Bruce took a breath to calm down, but his techniques didn’t work. Too many thoughts passed through his mind. The other guy, the team, the cage in SHEILD, everything he pushed aside returned. He took another deep breath when he felt something wet roll down his cheek.
Bruce wiped the tear away, but two more followed in it’s place. He continued to wipe his face, but it didn’t work. The tears he fought back for years started to break free. Bruce did something he hadn’t done since the night his mom died.
He buried his face against the pillow and cried.
*~*~*
“Hey Bruce we’re all going to…hey, hey what’s wrong?” Tony jogged over to Bruce’s balled up form on the bed.
“Too much…everything too much…” Bruce mumbled as he gripped the sheets.
Tony swallowed as he took a seat on the bed. He didn’t like the way that sounded. He hadn’t forgot Bruce’s previous attempt on his life and he didn’t want Bruce to try any of that any time soon. He quickly thought about three different ways to approach Bruce and tried one out.
“No it’s not, I mean I know Clint’s toppings on a pizza is too much. Who orders pineapple and olives honestly, but everything is fine. Hey, hey come here.” Tony soothed. He eased Bruce’s fingers off the sheets and pulled him close. Bruce gripped Tony’s shirt and cried into the expensive material.
Tony kissed his hair and wrapped an arm around his waist.
“JARVIS make sure no one comes into this room. I don’t care if SHEILD needs me they can wait. If there’s something going on in the company tell Pepper. She’ll handle it. The only reason someone should come into this room is if the world is ending. I mean volcanoes erupting, oceans overflowing, and computer systems failing around the world.”
“Yes sir.”
Tony smiled when the doors locked. He knew JARVIS wouldn’t let anyone in without his approval. He turned back to Bruce who tried to push him away. Tony pulled him closer and shook his head.
“You can’t get rid of me that easily, believe me many others have tried, I want to know what’s wrong? I remember Cap took you to your room and I gave you these comfortable pajamas. Then you fell asleep. I leave to see what the team wants on their pizzas and come back to see you crying your eyes out. What’s wrong? Is it the pajamas? I can always--”
“No it’s not the pajamas or the room or anything! It’s just this week, this month, this year I have to change into the Other Guy and it’s exhausting! No one else has to and it’s not fair.” Bruce whispered.
Tony squeezed his waist and pressed a kiss in his hair. “You and the jolly green giant have a chance to do things we can’t. I can’t lift a statue like it’s paper. Steve can’t catch someone in mid-air. Clint and Natasha can’t spar with a god. Thor can’t make a cure for an entire city or a small nation that’s not on the grid. None of us could handle what you do, but you do it with ease.”
Tony cupped Bruce’s cheek and tipped his head up. “You have more patience than I ever could muster even on a good day. Don’t sell yourself so short. I know I don’t.” He smiled and placed a light kiss on his lips.
“No one has to change into someone else at the end of the battle. No one has a cage created for them because they have a green rage monster inside them.” Bruce said as he wiped his eyes.
“No one has the ability to control that rage like you do.”
“What?”
“Natasha and Clint can’t afford to lose control. Neither can Cap or Thor. If they lose it they will either kill someone or end up hurting those around them. You and the Big Guy make sure that no one is hurt and can aim that rage at the right people. I’ve never seen you truly lose control where you don’t recognize me or anyone on the team. You’re able to control that rage in a way none of us could do, not even me.” Tony grinned and wiped a stray tear off Bruce’s cheek.
“You mean I can do something better than you? I’m surprised.”
“As you should be, it’s something that surprises me every time I think about it too.”
Bruce chuckled and trailed his fingers down Tony’s shirt. “You have no idea what you live with, but you encourage it. I don’t know what to call you.”
“Genius and loving boyfriends are the words you’re looking for, but I’ll forgive you.” Tony said with a smirk.
“Oh I’m so grateful.”
“Is that sarcasm I hear, Dr. Banner?”
“I believe it is.”
“Then I’m doing something right.”
Bruce gave a lazy grin and rested his head against Tony’s chest. “You know there is always that possibility that the Other Guy could lose control like that. I’ve done the math. The odds don’t point in your favor.”
Tony hummed and rubbed Bruce’s back. “Ahh, but I’ve been known to beat the odds. I hate to tell you doctor, but your equation has no definite answer. We’re going to have to do more work before we can arrive at a complete answer.”
“You want to test the Other Guy’s control for science.”
“Yes I do.”
Bruce chuckled, but it turned into laughter that he couldn’t stifle. He never met anyone who wanted to study the Hulk in a positive way. Then again, he never met anyone like Tony.
Bruce chuckled and looked up at Tony in amusement. “I believe I should study you.”
“I wouldn’t say no doctor, especially if you want to do a thorough study. It is for science, after all.” Tony said as he waggled his eyebrows.
“I’ll be sure to keep that in mind.”
Tony smiled and closed the gap between them with a soft kiss. Bruce closed his eyes and placed his hands on Tony’s chest to push him away when Tony tightened the hold around his waist and deepened the kiss. Bruce rested his hands against Tony’s chest and returned the kiss. He fell victim to the sensation of Tony’s tongue dancing with his own and the feel of his arms around his body.
It felt good to have someone that wasn’t afraid of him or only saw him as a weapon. To have someone that wanted him and the Other Guy for something more than his mind and power. Bruce didn’t know if he wanted to cry from that fact or leave before it would change. Well, he promised Tony he wouldn’t leave, he had to find another solution.
Tony pulled back and rubbed his thumb along Bruce’s bottom lip. Bruce offered a small smile and shifted in Tony’s arms.
“What did you mention when you came in here? Pizza?”
“Yeah. We’re ordering a pizza tonight, but we can change it if you want. They can get pizza and we can get whatever you want.”
“Don’t you want pizza?”
“I can always get pizza. What do you want?”
Bruce hummed and rested his head against Tony’s chest. It wasn’t often that he had a choice.
“Hmm, I’ll take a pizza too. I’m too tired to get anything else.”
“It’s not a problem if you want something I can go get it. Do you want Italian? Indian? Shawarma? I don’t think Cap or Lightening Bug would mind.”
“Pizza is fine.”
“I can always get--” Tony started when Bruce quieted him with his lips. He learned it was the most effective way in quieting Tony.
Bruce pulled back with a small smile. “Pizza is fine.”
“Great! We can choose the toppings. I know it’ll be reasonable than Clint’s, I mean who wants olives and pineapples with no pepperoni’s or extra cheese. It’s crazy.” Tony said. He smiled and squeezed Bruce again.
“You can add anything to a pizza. There’s no official rule for it.” Bruce rested his head back on Tony’s chest.
“There should be. JARVIS!”
“Yes sir.” JARVIS answered.
“Tell the team to give you their toppings and place the order to my favorite pizza place.”
“Very good sir.”
“One more thing JARVIS.” Tony looked down at Bruce. “Do you want to open your room again?”
“I don’t mind as long as we stay like this a while longer.” Bruce said. He didn’t feel like leaving Tony’s warm body so soon.
“We can stay like this as long as you want.” Tony smiled and pressed a light kiss to Bruce’s lips. “You can open his room again JARVIS. I’m sure the others will piece everything together soon.”
“Yes sir. Will there be anything else?”
“Nope, thank you.”
Tony grinned when JARVIS released the locks to Bruce’s room. He chuckled at the soft music that started to play and settled against the pillows. Bruce looked up when he recognized the lyrics of the song.
“Is that Chasing Cars by Snow Patrol?”
“JARIVS has quite the sense of humor. I do love it.”
“I see.” Bruce chuckled and placed his head back on Tony’s chest.
Tony smiled and started to rub Bruce’s back again. Bruce closed his eyes and nuzzled his chest with a pleased hum. He didn’t feel the Other Guy at the edge of his mind ready to push through. He didn’t know if it was the fatigue or the warmth of Tony’s body that calmed the Other Guy down. Bruce didn’t have the energy to try and figure out the answer.
Bruce closed his eyes and focused on the warmth of Tony’s chest.
He could find a solution another day.
